


rhythm

by sunshine_captain



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Jim, Embarrassed Jim, Established Relationship, First Time Bottoming, Five Year Mission, Hand & Finger Kink, M/M, Reassuring Spock, Romance, Strength Kink, Top Spock, imperfect sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-02 23:18:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16796671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshine_captain/pseuds/sunshine_captain
Summary: Jim and Spock have been together for eight months, and having sex for at least six of those months, but this is the first time they've attempted penetration. If Jim can relax enough for it to happen, that is. It's just sohard, when he wants itso much.





	rhythm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThereBeWhalesHere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereBeWhalesHere/gifts).



> Uhh, so I sent my dear friend some anonymous filth about the basic premise of this fic, and then I started writing it, but what was meant to be like a 500-word pornlet like my smut collection turned into this monster. So. Heh. Hope y'all enjoy! (Especially you, Lissa, really hope you like it!!!!)

Jim tries to calm himself, taking deep breaths as Spock pets his thighs soothingly.

"You must relax, Jim," he says, looking remarkably composed for someone totally naked and ready to fuck his boyfriend for the first time.

"I'm trying," Jim answers, and he really is. He's trying his best to get his body to loosen up (literally) so that Spock can get in him. It's just so _hard_ , when he wants it _so much._

He and Spock have been together for eight months, and having sex for at least six of those months, but this is the first time they've attempted penetration. Jim has been thinking about this for weeks, hell, even longer than that.

He wants Spock in him, so much that it's been the focus of his masturbation fantasies for weeks. Months, if he's being honest. Any time he's been alone and touched himself, his thoughts have strayed to what it would feel like to have Spock's thick, warm cock sliding into him, touching _all_ the right spots, filling him up in a way that fingers and even toys just don’t.

More than that, to have Spock's heavy body on his, pinning him to the mattress in the most pleasant way, Spock's hands touching and caressing his body, his mouth open and panting, or better yet, on Jim's.

And now, irony of ironies, as he's about to actually experience it for real, he can't relax enough for it to happen.

Every time Spock tries to push in, Jim clenches up, and then chides himself for his instinctive reaction.

Jim feels the blunt pressure of Spock's erection at his hole, and groans unhappily as he clenches reflexively again. "I'm sorry," he pants, sweating and tense. "Sorry, Spock."

"It is well, Jim," Spock says softly, lowering Jim's legs and covering Jim's body with his own, giving him a kiss so sweet it leaves Jim breathless. "There are other things we can do, that will be just as pleasurable." He circles Jim's dick meaningfully with his fingers, giving it a teasing stroke.

"No!" Jim says, manfully ignoring the pleasure of Spock's hand on him. "I want you in me, Spock, I want it so badly. That's the problem, I want it so much I just can’t let it happen."

Spock considers him, dark eyes warm and hungry. There's no doubt in Jim's mind that Spock wants this, too, but he's a gentleman as always, putting Jim's comfort and consent first. "I believe I can solve this problem."

Jim is about to ask how exactly he intends to do that, but before he can Spock is kissing him, twining their fingers together and pinning Jim's hands to the mattress. He gasps into Spock's mouth as their hard cocks rub together, Spock's thick chest hair brushing Jim's sensitive nipples pleasantly.

Before Jim knows what's happening, Spock has lifted his legs again, breaking the kiss to peer down between their bodies as he pushes inside Jim.

"Spock!" Pure surprise keeps Jim from seizing up as Spock slides inside, and finally, _finally_ , he has what he wanted, Spock's thick heat forcing him open, filling him. Spock is all the way in, laying back on him as he guides Jim's legs around his waist, breathing deeply and kissing Jim’s throat.

Jim comes all over himself, the shock and force of it rendering him speechless as he trembles around Spock's length, squeezing him tight and making Spock moan against his skin.

The muscles that tensed during his orgasm relax and Jim lays back against the pillow, panting and sensitive, nerves singing. The realization of what he did hits after just seconds, and a flush of shame spreads across his face (and probably lower down, he can't bear to find out.)

"My god," he mutters, avoiding Spock's eyes, and the sight of his belly and Spock's chest, covered in his come. "I'm sorry."

Their first time doing this, and he got overexcited and got off the second Spock got inside him. It just felt so good, Spock fits in his body as perfectly as he does in Jim's mind, and he just _wanted it so badly._

He got off, and left Spock behind, and the more he thinks about it, the worse Jim feels.

"Sorry," he mutters again, finally meeting Spock's gaze. Jim is startled to see that, if anything, Spock looks like he wants him even more than before. "Spock?"

"Jim," Spock whispers, cradling his jaw between his palms. "The knowledge that you wanted this so deeply is....most exciting." His hips twitch, and the drag of his cock in Jim makes him hiss.

He's too sensitive for it to be anything but uncomfortable, and Spock withdraws as quickly and gently as he can.

"I am the one that is sorry, Jim, for causing you discomfort."

Jim can feel Spock still hard against his ass as he unwinds his legs from Spock's waist with a sigh. "I know that's not the way we planned for it to happen."

"You are embarrassed?" Spock inquires, trying to gather Jim into his arms.

Jim rolls out of his grasp and sits up, gritting his teeth in annoyance at himself. "Damn right, I'm embarrassed! This was meant to be so much better, special, I know how much you wanted it. I felt it in your mind when we melded last night, how excited you were thinking about fucking me, and I acted like a kid with no control over my body!"

"Jim." Spock grabs his shoulder, and when Jim resists, he exerts his superior strength and keeps him pinned in place. "You are correct that I was enthusiastic about this, but you must know that it was largely because I sensed it was something you desired greatly. It was very pleasurable for me, Jim, but no more so than anything else we do together."

“Spock—“

“Additionally,” Spock talks right over him, “You have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed, as I believe I have already told you that the fact you achieved release so readily only increases my desire for you. It is my greatest wish that you feel pleasure, Jim, and I believe you were enjoying yourself, before you became self conscious.”

Jim knows he’s getting red again, because yes, he _was_ enjoying himself. Until his brain caught up with his body and he realized what he had done.

His thoughts must leak through to Spock, because Spock strokes his cheek with two fingers. "You have not done anything, Jim, aside from gained release and felt pleasure that is both healthy and natural."

He makes himself take a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing the tension from his limbs. "And you're not bothered that I got off and left you unfulfilled?"

"No, I am not. You have not left me unfulfilled." When Jim continues to look doubtful and unhappy, Spock actually _sighs_ and his hands move to Jim's sides.

Spock lifts Jim into his lap and presses their foreheads together. Jim so often forgets how much stronger Spock is than him, and now Spock has used it on him twice within fifteen minutes.

"What must I tell you, to make you understand that you have done nothing wrong, that seeing you undone and pleasured solely because I fulfilled your desires makes me want you all the more, ashayam?" Spock is speaking quickly, intensely, hands on Jim's cheeks ensuring he can't look away. "I can wait until you are ready for more, or you can assist me in achieving release in some other fashion, or I will simply use my controls to abate my arousal. Orgasm is not the most important thing to me about being with you, Jim."

Jim lets Spock hold him and finally lets his doubts drift away with a shuddering sigh. It's impossible to doubt Spock's sincerity like this, with his thoughts and emotions bleeding through into Jim through their physical contact and the vulnerability of the moment. _So beautiful, Jim is so beautiful, beneath Spock panting and desperate for Spock within him. Sweating, flushed pink skin, begging him with every movement and noise—_

The way Spock sees him makes Jim breathless. He looks so beautiful, so desirable in Spock's thoughts. He knows he's an attractive man, but the way Spock views him is on another level entirely. The things about himself that Jim views with disdain are simply part of his beauty to Spock.

 _Oh, sweetheart_ , Jim thinks, and he's sure Spock must catch it with the force of his love powering it. 

Spock cradles the back of Jim's head and kisses him tenderly, time losing meaning in the pocket of intimacy between them. Jim shifts in Spock's lap, spreading his legs out over Spock's thighs.

Spock has softened, he can feel it, and Jim can't help a little pulse of guilt again. No, never mind, he'll soon get Spock turned on again. Jim shifts again so that Spock's dick is between his cheeks, up against his hole, and rubs back against him suggestively.

"Jim," Spock moans, surprised.

"Come on, Spock," Jim purrs, working his hips, kissing Spock again. "Get hard for me, I want to feel you in me again. I'm ready this time, ready for you to fill me up."

Spock is firming up nicely, sighing wordlessly into Jim's mouth. His grip moves to Jim's hips as he helps Jim move against him. Jim isn’t close to getting hard, but he’s not oversensitive anymore, and that’s enough for him; he wants Spock back in him, wants to savor it this time. He’ll have time to catch up.

“Ready?” Jim asks, kissing Spock’s cheek and straightening, reaching behind him to circle his fingers around Spock’s dick, squeezing lightly and enjoying how hard Spock is now. As ever, the knowledge that _he_ is responsible for that is thrilling. 

“Only if you are,” Spock answers.

Jim is beyond ready. He adjusts until he can raise up onto his knees, bracing himself with a hand on Spock's shoulder, the other lining Spock up. As is usually the case with irony, he's completely relaxed and accepting now as he settles himself into Spock's lap again, Spock's dick fully inside him.

So good, it's so good. Jim closes his eyes and takes a second to try and catch his breath. When he opens them, he almost moans at the sight before him. Spock's eyes are half lidded, his cheeks flushed green, his lip trapped between his teeth as he soaks in the sensation of Jim tight and warm around him. It looks like Spock is enjoying being inside Jim just as much as Jim is enjoying having Spock in him.

"You feel so very....so incredible, Jim," Spock breathes, taking Jim's hand in his own and rubbing their fingertips together affectionately. "Are you comfortable?"

Jim laughs breathlessly. "You'd better meld us, Spock, if I'm not broadcasting my pleasure loudly enough. Having you in me is so good. God, you fill me up so well." He tightens around Spock, his own cock twitching hopefully.

"I would meld us, but I fear it would be my turn to orgasm before we are ready for it," Spock admits, raising Jim's hand to his lips so that he can kiss his palm, sighing at the dirtiness of the action.

"Can't have that," Jim says distractedly, all his attention slipping to sensation as he begins to ride Spock, at the wet warmth as Spock closes his eyes and takes two of Jim's fingers into his mouth, sucking on them.

Spock's finger kink strikes again; while it doesn't have the same cultural taboos attached to it for Jim, or his hands the same sensitivity as Spock's, it's arousing to have Spock's mouth on any part of him, and the little _noise_ Spock makes as he sucks, cheeks blushing greener, has Jim dropping down quicker on Spock.

"You feel, Spock, so, ah." It's nonsense, all Jim has the coordination for as he rises and falls on Spock's dick, the slide of it against his sensitive insides, the catch of it against the rim of his hole, Spock's hips firm under his ass (won't he bruise, from how hard he's sinking back down? Jim hopes so.)

Jim's saliva wet fingers slide out of Spock's mouth as he moans, and Jim curls them into Spock's chest hair, teasing a nipple and making Spock louder.

Jim is strong, but he's tiring, thighs burning. As always, Spock knows before he even says anything, and he takes over, hands on Jim's hips, raising and lowering him on his cock with that effortless Vulcan strength.

No one before Spock has ever been able to move Jim around the way he can. Jim isn't a small or delicate man, and the novelty of Spock's strength has never worn off. All he has to do is let Spock take over. He can drop his head onto Spock's shoulder and kiss the hot skin there, grasp Spock's back and dig his nails into Spock's shoulder blades, and the whole time Spock is moving him, fucking him, and it's just _so good._

“Meld us, Spock,” Jim urges, biting Spock’s shoulder and then licking over the mark he leaves behind.

Spock pulls Jim to his chest, in him to the hilt, and makes a noise of assent. He’s reaching for Jim’s cheek and the meld points there when Jim, suddenly mischievous, turns his head and captures Spock’s fingers in his mouth instead, sucking them, eager for Spock’s moans.

He gets them, sexy as hell, but he also gets Spock grabbing his thigh tightly with his free hand and _coming,_ hips shuddering and jostling Jim as he fills him up.

It’s shocking, and hot, in a primal way, knowing he’s full of Spock’s come now, Spock fucked him and filled him just like he’s been fantasizing about for so long. Jim shivers and clenches at where his thoughts are going; Spock fucking him again, getting him even wetter, playing with him when they’re done, using his fingers to—

“Jim, please,” Spock gasps. His breathing is slowly returning to normal, but he’s still flushed bright green. “I dropped my shields some time ago, and I can hear your thoughts quite audibly. I cannot become aroused again so quickly, it is too much.”

“You….” With an effort, Jim reins his imagination in and takes a deep breath. He wants to touch himself, he wants to touch Spock. “I’m turning you on, and it’s too much too soon?” 

Spock nods in confirmation and Jim laughs and nuzzles his cheek. Spock softens and slips out of Jim as they kiss in the ways of both their people. Jim can’t help but nudge forward to rub himself against Spock’s belly. He knows he’s filthy, with his mess from earlier still on both of them, and now Spock’s added to the equation. He wiggles again, and Spock hisses as Jim's ass grinds against his now over sensitive cock.

"Sorry," Jim says, scooting off of Spock's lap and laying back on the bed.

Spock follows, hovering over Jim on all fours. “I believe it is I that should now be apologizing.” Spock’s eyes are twinkling, and he doesn’t sound very apologetic. “As the saying goes, the tables have turned and it is you that is now left still wanting. Although, if you had allowed me to perform the meld as originally requested, I can assure you we would have found release together.” 

“But sweetheart, your fingers were such a temptation.” Jim takes his hand gently squeezes the fingers in question. “How could I resist, you know I love having them in me.” He strokes Spock’s palm, gently rubs the webbing between his middle and ring fingers.

“Jim,” Spock warns.

"I know, you need time." Once they've actually achieved orgasm, Vulcans have a longer refractory period than humans, usually fifteen to thirty minutes longer than it takes Jim to get going again. "I'll simmer and wait for you, Spock, you know I will."

Spock smiles. It's beautiful and rare, and Jim is selfishly glad no one else will ever see that look on Spock's face. "That will not be necessary. I wish to see to your pleasure, I simply do not desire stimulation myself." He moves down Jim's body with obvious intent, leaving kisses in his wake.

Spock's mouth presses against his inner thigh, and Jim parts his legs obligingly. "We need to work on our timing, I think." His laugh transforms to a sigh halfway through as Spock concentrates on his task, and there are no more words for a while.

When Spock rejoins Jim, licking his lips, Jim fits himself against his Vulcan's side, petting Spock's hip idly. "I mean it, we need more practice. I love it when we come together."

"You know that I enjoy it, too, though it is not always achievable." Spock raises an eyebrow. How he can look so smug and amused while naked and still coated in semen is beyond Jim. "I concur with your suggestion that we need 'practice.' It seems we will need to repeat our activities."

As if they really need an excuse to make love.

"Can't wait, but in the mean time, I need to clean up. As delightfully dirty as it is, I don't think it would be very professional to appear outside of my quarters full of your come." Jim gets up and stretches, savoring the pleasant twinges of his well-used muscles.

Halfway to the bathroom, he glances over his shoulder and sees Spock watching his retreat, lounging lazily amid the rumpled bedding. He's like something out of Jim's fantasies.

Better. The reality definitely outshines the dream.

Chuckling, Jim enters the head and switches the water on. The temperature he sets it to is as hot as he can bear it and as cool as Spock can handle.

He knows Spock will be in after him any minute, just as surely as Spock knows he'll be waiting with open arms.

There's no time for a repeat performance, but there may be enough to get Spock going one more time, get him off while he's all slick and wet and moaning into Jim's mouth.

Jim looks down and chuckles. Two orgasms and he's all wiped out, but Spock's only had one, and it won't be too much longer before he can have another, if he wants. Jim ducks his head under the spray and thinks that it's only fair to keep it even.

The bathroom door slides open. Jim doesn't turn around. There's no need to. An arm slides around his waist and Jim relaxes into Spock's body behind him, trusting Spock to take his weight for a moment.

Words from long ago, in more ways than one, drift through Jim's mind. _At his side, as if you've always been there and always will._ The truth of that statement has always rung through him, and it becomes more and more true every day.

Spock must catch the direction his thoughts are going in, because he cups Jim's face and turns it towards him for a kiss. His shields must still be down, since he hasn't meditated to restore them, and Jim is more comfortable with their bodily and mental intimacy than he ever could have known he would be.

It feels so natural, being close to Spock this way, crowded back against the shower wall now with Spock's skinny, hard body against his, the ebb and flow of their thoughts between them bringing Jim glimpses of Spock's growing desire.

It's exactly what he expected, and he's so amused Spock stops kissing him and backs away enough to peer down at him. "What do you find so humorous, Jim?" He quirks an eyebrow. "Not my attentions, I hope."

"No, no," Jim reassures Spock hastily. "It's just that this whole time we've been out of sync, and we normally work so well together. But every time one of us gets started," he cups Spock's growing erection meaningfully, "The other is already spent. I really was right when I said we need to work on timing."

"It is an improvement over the beginning of our courtship."

Jim thinks back to those first romantic gestures, the clumsy gifts (the flowers that Spock ate, and the socks that were just a touch too practical to be romantic), those conversations where they tried to broach the topic of sex but neither wanted to be the first to bring it up, and so it simply turned into endless, painful minutes of dancing around the topic.

That quiet night on the observation deck when Jim reached out and Spock reached back, and the awkward moments were at an end.

For almost every moment of the past eight months, Jim has been happier than he's ever been before. Nothing is perfect, and some things need a little practice before they establish a rhythm, but Jim has no doubt they'll get there, together. They always do.

“Yeah,” Jim agrees, “it is,” and slips to his knees. 

They both know it will only get better from here.


End file.
